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No one can serve two masters. Either you will hate the one and love the other, or you will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and money. —Matthew 6:24
That master can be culture, comfort, money, or marriage. – Live Second 55
It is such a popular passage. This day had me read Matthew 6:19-34. It is so easy to say we believe God will provide us with our needs, but falling back on that can be difficult in a time of crisis. Years back when I felt the call to ministry I became hesitant because I wondered how God would provide for me in ministry. I had to eventually step out, and lean on him in faith that He would be my provider in life. I struggled with this over the years. I dated a girl who wanted nice things, and enhance my desire to be the great manly provider.
Our culture misses the point. The man in the household is never meant to lean on himself as the one to provide for his family. At that point money and family become his master. The idea is to rely completely on God for provision. As I have thought through this I have had to ask myself a scary question. I realize I cannot fool God on this whole two masters business, but is it possible I have fooled myself? In moments of crisis where does my heart truly turn?
This question became all the more reality last week when my wife and I were placed in a hardship. Her grandmother had passed away. Her family is a very close family both in living space and in love. It is the reason I was absent from the blog for so long. We knew we had to go there to support the family, but the how seemed impossible to figure out at that time.
In that moment I was faced with a crisis. I was also wrestling through these posts. I wanted to put my heart towards a desire for greater success and wealth. If only I was a little richer. If only I was a little more capable. If only I was successful enough to meet this need for my wife. I wanted to lean on these if onlys. I wanted for a brief moment a life a little more different than the one I had. I may not have been obsessed with the desire for money and success, but in that moment I had wished for it. Not to help those hurting. Not to change the world. Not to advance the gospel. I wanted it to fix things in my own life. I wanted it to make my life a little better.
I was thrown into a situation of choice. I could either continue to wish life were different, or I could lean on God as my provider as I had committed to do so all those years ago. This day of reading brought my mind back in focus. When I wish I had put more faith in finances I was wishing to take faith away from God. So my wife and I did all we could do. We prayed. We prayed for God’s provision. As the provider for my family I did the only thing I knew how to do. I prayed to the real provider. How did that story end? Well you will just need to finish tis four day journey with me to find out.