I listened to a Christian add on the radio the other day where the basic premise was the sometimes in marriage your husband isn’t going to understand you, and you just need to be able to learn how to live with that. This naturally jumped out to me because it was simply wrong. Yes there will be times of misunderstanding, but it’s never something we are supposed to just get over and deal with.
Men have been trying to understand women since the beginning. Sitcoms regularly joke about men’s inability to understanding women. Boy who develop interest in girls for the first tie often ask the question of understanding early. We are obsessed with understanding women. If we can just understand women then mysteries of the universe will be solved.
Good luck guys, because understanding women cannot be done. Understanding a woman? Now that just might be possible. Confused? Pay attention to what I just wrote. There is a difference between understanding women, and understand an individual woman. It is impossible to understand women because no to women are the same. Scripture does not call for men to understand women. Scripture calls for a husband to understand his wife.
“Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.” 1 Peter 3:7
How do we understand our wives tough? What does it mean to really understand them? It starts by living life with them. We learn abut people when we go through life together. We see how they react to situations and circumstances. It means being with them. Husbands can’t understand their wives if they never spend time with them.
I love my wife. I strive to understand her more and more. I always try and understand why she thinks the way she does. I ask questions about her childhood to better understand who she is as a person. Here is the thing, I don’t just do this because I have to, I do it because I like being able to understand her better. Understanding my wife strengthens our marriage. It strengthens my relationship with God. It heightens my praying experience by knowing her so well to know how best to pray for her needs.
Women, you may look at this verse and find offense to Peter’s statement of you being the weaker sex. Don’t be blinded by that statement to miss the bigger picture here. You should expect to have a husband who strives to understand you as an individual. Someone who is attune to how you think. Someone who know your heart as well as any human being could.
Men, you are meant to strive to understand your wife. It will be a lifelong pursuit. You will always find yourself understanding her more and more. It will be a lifelong goal. It will mean striving to set thing rights when their is tension between the two of you. It means you will need to take the first steps in making up form an argument. You will set the pace husbands. You have been dictated to understand your wives. It requires time and dedication. Will you strive to understand your wife?