Jennifer Lawrence and Relationships

I recently read a rather depressing article the other day. Maybe you had seen the hoopla over the past few weeks surrounding celebrities like Jennifer Lawrence who were victims of hackers who access naked photos of them in order to spread around the internet and make a profit. It was more than a scandal, it was a reminder of just how sadistically cruel some people can be. It was ugly.

Everyone always waits for the reaction from the celebrities in these moments. For a while Jennifer did not say anything. Something that I think was actually really smart of her to do. An immediate response can be risky in those moments, and I think she was working hard to have a clear head. I say all that because I don’t want this post to be picking on Jennifer Lawrence. She has gone through a huge ordeal, and the last thing I want is to draw attention to her specifically. However, I do want to draw attention to a sad truth that she pointed out in her response the other day. In the midst of sharing her feelings she made this statement, “”I was in a loving, healthy, great relationship for four years. It was long distance, and either your boyfriend is going to look at porn or he’s going to look at you.”

Most people might have missed this statement when cheering the rest of what she said about staying firm and calling out the hackers for their crimes. This is genuinely one of the saddest things I have ever read. People really feel this way. Guys, there are lots of girls out there that think we are so hopeless when it comes to issues of lust. It’s a really sad realization, and it makes me very concerned, because I don’t think she is alone in feeling this way.

She described a loving and healthy relationship as being with someone who is going to quit when things get hard and look at porn if he doesn’t get what he wants form her. What? How is that any part of a definition of loving? I love my wife. Part of how I show that is by not looking at other women. There is plenty I could say on this, but I want to narrow it down to a couple of things.

1.Girls deserve better. This isn’t one of those “Girls should expect perfection and Jesus incarnate in their boyfriend” because that is an equally big problem in Christian dating today, but girls do deserved to be treated as a human being. If you genuinely feel pressured to give your boyfriend something whether it be an exposing picture, sex, or anything that pushes your boundaries in order to keep him around and interested in you then he is not worth keeping around.

2. Not all guys are pigs. I’m not saying porn isn’t a struggle for guys out there, but we are capable of not looking at it. Don’t just assume that all guys only want one thing. I get a little tired of hearing about that actually. I grow weary of the experts “factual” statements about how all guys think about is sex. It demeans us too.

3. Understand that there is a real problem. Not all guys are pigs, but plenty of others can be. That is really just the tip of the iceberg. I read this statement to a friend who said that is was unfortunately probably true. That is the saddest part to it all. What she said was probably 100% true. The irony of this whole statement was that people seem to fail to realize that Jennifer’s view of her healthy relationship and the sadistic hacker are incredibly connected. It is all interwoven into a major heart issue where we mistakenly believe that sex is what will make us happy and we have a right to have access to it even if it is harmful to another so long as it satisfies us. It’s not just sex that is this issue. Anything that we seek to obtain that can be harmful to another is a real heart issue. Just because someone might be willing to bend in satisfying that desire does not mean there is not a problem.

4. The world is full of really broken people. I don’t expect people who do not have a relationship in Christ to act like they do. Look around though, this is a world full of really broken people. Jennifer’s statement on a healthy relationship is a view held by countless others. We assume we can keep our brokenness in control by putting sin in control. Too often our solution to things relating to sex is to provide it in a safer environment. Kids will have sex anyway so provide them with the condom. My boyfriend is going to have sex with someone so it might as well be me so I can at least feel loved.

5. Men need to start speaking up. Guys, it is time we actually spoke up and proved that there are better options out there. It is time we lifted up our broken pasts and showed that it is the cross that can control sin. This is how lots of girls out there actually feel about us. I’m not ok with that anymore. Are you?

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