Lies About Sex and Porn: Hidden Secrets Cannot Hurt You

It’s been a long time since I have done one of these posts. Recent events with Josh Duggar have brought some of these issue into my mind again. It has been intriguing to me to see the responses from the masses over it all. Most responses have been a little frightening to me. There seems to be this general idea of joy around it. For those who don’t know, a website that helps people have an affair was hacked releasing thousands of its member. Josh Duggar was one of them.

Many people, Christian and not, have expressed their joy over Josh being caught in the act. Most talk about how they never trusted the family. There seems to be this general trend going on that this whole event is a good thing. It validates the jokes. It validates the opinions. It allows us to bring a family that is projected as godly and perfect down a peg. It brings them down to our level.

This was not my first reaction. My first reaction was going back to an old college memory. I was asked to write down a list of everything I had to lose if my integrity was compromised. It was…revealing. It was also rather terrifying. I found myself realizing that, if I were to live a life void of integrity, then the life I was building up would be ruined.

But that’s if we would ever be caught. Culture is pretty accepting of sex. The porn industry is booming, and rapidly becoming less of a taboo. It’s not so scandalous anymore even though the tabloids produce it that way. The truth is that it is fairly normal, but inside the church the taboo is still strong. The recognition of the damage of porn, and of an unbiblical sex life is talked about regularly. The only other real difference, though, is in that people tend to hide those sins.

We hide sin in general, really. This is a porn and sex post, but the truth is that this lesson applies to any act of sin. We think we can hide it. That question of integrity posed to me back in college gave me a different perspective. It pushed me to consider the possibility, “What if I was caught?” This in turn forces anyone to the inevitable realization that, “I can be caught.” My lacks of integrity were not even sexually related, but the problems were still very real. It could be caught in any sin. A sin of lust, lies, hatred, etc. Take your pick. Integrity, or lack of it, has a habit of breaking out, and it takes no prisoners.

Now let me be clear, there is no account on any affair site with my name on it. However, I find myself thinking what I would be experiencing if I was Josh in this moment. How would my family be affected if they were his family? We so often try and hide whatever flaws are a part of us because we think we can control every aspect to it. People like Josh learn that outside forces so often come crashing in to change that perception.

What do you have to lose? Is it a job, friendship, or marriage? We even foolishly think that for as long as we hide our sin that it won’t affect anything, but the simple truth is the very burden of those secrets changes and affects the core of our being.

What is the solution then? It comes in two parts really. The first is to own up to integrity. Stop what you have been doing, and bring to light what may need to be brought to light. Empty out the baggage. The second part is to stop accumulating it! You can’t hide what isn’t there.

We foolishly hide, and develop all of the baggage. We are affected in secret, and then outside circumstances at any moment could still tear the curtains to shed light where we would not wish for it to be. I want to be careful on this next point. I’m not saying that people like Josh should not be called out for what they have done. What I am saying is if those moments do not also force personal reflection of where our integrity could be lacking then we may find ourselves on the next news story.


Some Thoughts on Abortion

I have been on vacation for the past week. It has been a good time with my family to just get away. On Wednesday I woke up early with my wife. We went onto the beach to watch the sunrise. I like this time. It gives me the opportunity to usually clear my head. There has been a great deal going on in the world that has required some of that for me lately.

I’ve been strangely quiet on social media over the Planned Parenthood situation. I have been surrounded by all of the noise coming out amongst people from all sides of the argument. In truth, it has been difficult to keep it all straight in my head. The whole event has been hard for me, but not surprising. There had been rumors of this sort of thing before, and everyone regularly told me it was just fake rumors and to pay it no mind. It would appear the story is different than they would have originally guessed.

So here I have been with my thoughts banging around inside of my head. Trying to figure out how to get them out without dogs of different breeds biting my hands off before I can finish getting a full sentence out. Tensions and emotions are high for incredibly good reason. My thoughts may sounds like they are trying to come from a rational perspective, but the truth is that these thoughts are rooted form deep emotional pain over everything. Here it goes.

1. The politicians aren’t going to fix everything. I have been chanting this statement forever, and it seems to be ignored by many. Please understand, I’m not saying abortion should not be banned. I would love nothing more than for it to be removed and recognized for what it is, but that is only part of the issue here. The ban of abortion for the Christian feels a bit like the dog chasing the mail truck. He would not quite know what to do with it if he caught it. Abortion does not exist because politicians waved a magic wand. Why do we spend all of our energy on the politicians then?

The simple truth is that no politician is going to fix this mess for us. To many people keep waiting every four years to vote for the guy they think will fix all of this, and it just is not working. That is the definition of insanity isn’t it? Doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results?

2. Abortion is wrong. For many this may seem like a no brainer statement, but it needs to be said in this post for what will come next. Abortion is the killing of innocent children. All life is sacred. I’m not saying that in the overused #alllivesmatter. Please don’t misunderstand the simplicity of this. Life is sacred. Just because our political vote alone will not fix the problem does not mean it goes ignored. We need to be diligent to defend the defenseless. We need to speak out against this, and should not allow our voices to remain silent on the matter.

3. We still believe in forgiveness. For my fellow Christian who have forgotten this statement, please camp out on this point. Yes, abortion is wrong. Yes it is the intentional killing of an innocent life. We still are called to forgive those who have this in their past. For those reading this who have had an abortion in their past, first let me say how truly sorry I am for the internal turmoil you have faced. I cannot begin to imagine what you must have had to go through. There are people in the church out there who can still welcome you with open arms. There is still a God who loves you and forgives you. I know our speaking out against abortion can sound painful, but we have all needed to be told where we have failed to meet God’s standard. We need to know what we have done that requires forgiveness in order to confess on that and receive it. I’m not here to judge in the sense of providing sentencing. Only God does that. I will continue to speak out on things like abortion, and point out a way to receive true forgiveness. Judgment would require condemnation. That is not what we provide. We bring flaws into the light, and point others to a way where healing can take place.

4. Pro-life is more than just being against abortion. This baffles me. We often end the whole Pro-0life abortion thing after birth. We often argue that we could be killing children who could become the next Einstein or Abraham Lincoln. This is incredibly true. Guess what, there is a good likelihood that they are also killing children who could cause serious harm. The kind of harm you have faced against that individual in your life that you already hate. They are killing people who will become poor. They are killing children who will become sinners. They are killing children who will grow up to cause incredible pain.

Here is why I say all that. What are we doing to make this world a place worth living in? How are we treating those who wrong us now? Do we interact with all we come in contact with as though their lives actually matter? Pro-life is about more than just giving life. It is about playing a part in this world that can provide the absolute best and most meaningful life possible for those we come in contact with. It is about caring for the orphans and the widows. It is about feeding the hungry. It is about presenting the Gospel in actions, but also in words that can point to the most profound and life altering truth anyone could ever here.

It is incredibly easy to be against abortion. It honestly is. What is hard is to be pro-life.