Lies About Sex and Porn: Hidden Secrets Cannot Hurt You

It’s been a long time since I have done one of these posts. Recent events with Josh Duggar have brought some of these issue into my mind again. It has been intriguing to me to see the responses from the masses over it all. Most responses have been a little frightening to me. There seems to be this general idea of joy around it. For those who don’t know, a website that helps people have an affair was hacked releasing thousands of its member. Josh Duggar was one of them.

Many people, Christian and not, have expressed their joy over Josh being caught in the act. Most talk about how they never trusted the family. There seems to be this general trend going on that this whole event is a good thing. It validates the jokes. It validates the opinions. It allows us to bring a family that is projected as godly and perfect down a peg. It brings them down to our level.

This was not my first reaction. My first reaction was going back to an old college memory. I was asked to write down a list of everything I had to lose if my integrity was compromised. It was…revealing. It was also rather terrifying. I found myself realizing that, if I were to live a life void of integrity, then the life I was building up would be ruined.

But that’s if we would ever be caught. Culture is pretty accepting of sex. The porn industry is booming, and rapidly becoming less of a taboo. It’s not so scandalous anymore even though the tabloids produce it that way. The truth is that it is fairly normal, but inside the church the taboo is still strong. The recognition of the damage of porn, and of an unbiblical sex life is talked about regularly. The only other real difference, though, is in that people tend to hide those sins.

We hide sin in general, really. This is a porn and sex post, but the truth is that this lesson applies to any act of sin. We think we can hide it. That question of integrity posed to me back in college gave me a different perspective. It pushed me to consider the possibility, “What if I was caught?” This in turn forces anyone to the inevitable realization that, “I can be caught.” My lacks of integrity were not even sexually related, but the problems were still very real. It could be caught in any sin. A sin of lust, lies, hatred, etc. Take your pick. Integrity, or lack of it, has a habit of breaking out, and it takes no prisoners.

Now let me be clear, there is no account on any affair site with my name on it. However, I find myself thinking what I would be experiencing if I was Josh in this moment. How would my family be affected if they were his family? We so often try and hide whatever flaws are a part of us because we think we can control every aspect to it. People like Josh learn that outside forces so often come crashing in to change that perception.

What do you have to lose? Is it a job, friendship, or marriage? We even foolishly think that for as long as we hide our sin that it won’t affect anything, but the simple truth is the very burden of those secrets changes and affects the core of our being.

What is the solution then? It comes in two parts really. The first is to own up to integrity. Stop what you have been doing, and bring to light what may need to be brought to light. Empty out the baggage. The second part is to stop accumulating it! You can’t hide what isn’t there.

We foolishly hide, and develop all of the baggage. We are affected in secret, and then outside circumstances at any moment could still tear the curtains to shed light where we would not wish for it to be. I want to be careful on this next point. I’m not saying that people like Josh should not be called out for what they have done. What I am saying is if those moments do not also force personal reflection of where our integrity could be lacking then we may find ourselves on the next news story.

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